After The Lens

Here's a film I finished this summer, any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwmaDAc7wFs&t=15s

Comments

  • @Behind_the_Lens ; Pretty well put together, and I really liked that you put the subtitles in for all of us one language peeps.  There is one thing that sort of bothered me and this is solely my impression not in any way expert advice:  When the boy first gets on the train and speaks with the girl when she goes to leave the abrupt cut there to me looks like a mistake until you do it again on the boy by himself and then I realized it was to so a progression of time.  I think I might have used a couple of dissolves or wipes there to soften the abruptness of the cut and still show time.  Of course there's the always used clock wipe but that comes off too heavy-handed really...in my opinion.  But sometimes you got to use it.  I loved the end credits and found myself wondering how the heck you filmed the tracks and tunnel.

  • Thanks tddavis! To be honest, I totally didn't even think of adding in a wipe/ dissolve.  But agreed, the clock got a little heavy-handed (btw, that boy is me).Thanks again. (I haven't checked this thread in a while

  • ... Since I just got back on this thread since.. a while, I thought I'd put this up as well.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdEVTKHvnzI

  • Also, this is just a general link to my YT channel:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrCSdIugEwcjUs6HAXlqczw

  • edited November 2017

    @Behind_The_Lens ; Wow!  That's you?  My estimation of the skill you showed just went up 10 times. An unbelievablely slick production for someone your age.   I can only wish to achieve that level of filmmaking.  

  • Quite a trip!  The video was great, though there were a few spots where the cuts were so quick I couldn't even register what I was looking at for some shots.  If the music were quicker I could see such quick cuts working a little better (maybe), but most of your music is pretty laid back, so the rapid-fire cuts feel very jarring.

    Remember that you're creating a mood for your audience, and that's influenced by both picture and sound.  When the sound sets one mood but the picture (content, transitions, etc) sets a different one, it feels odd.  Sometimes you might want that odd feeling, but more often than not you want all elements to hit the same mood so that the piece feels cohesive.

    Oh, and like @tddavis I'm quite impressed with what you're putting together at your age.  Keep it up!

  • I also thought it was great. :) I'd usually get pretty bored by someone else's holiday video, but watched it all and enjoyed it too. 

    I agree that quite a lot of the cuts were too short. I think you had an aerial shot that was less than a second long. I'd happily have watched them if they were twice as long or more. When they are that short, unless the focus is in the same place for each shot - centre is easiest - then just as you understand what you're looking at in shot A ( maybe left of centre?), it changes and you're looking in the wrong place for shot B ( right of centre?) and while you're adjusting, that's gone and you're now on shot C. Less eyeball effort on a small screen, but confusing on a larger one, or a TV. ;)

  • I liked the easter egg in Zhan @ 3:58 where the ladies's tote bag says Kushner Studios.

  • What an amazing trip! Thanks for sharing. The shots were great along with the variety of styles you captured them in. The background music you picked seemed to fit perfectly. And...the food looked amazing!

  • Hey everyone, so I made a video with some friends. It's for a competition, and is based on a public voting system to start getting judged. All feed back ( and voting?) is welcome.

    http://videochallenge.mathcounts.org/videos/sherlock-study-pi

    Thanks!!

  • Hey guys!

    Among other things, I've been working on another travel video. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give feedback?

    https://youtu.be/0b9zaaXcEc0

     

    Thank you so much!

    Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

     

     

     

  •  I liked it!  I think I'm ready to move to Switzerland now.

  • Very fun! Great flow throughout the entire piece, and a nice way to bookend it with a small narrative.

  • Hello internet!

    I just finished a quick little movie for the holidays- and was wondering if anybody could give some feedback:

    https://youtu.be/6VOwAMf1LPo

    Thank you so much for watching, and for taking the time!

  • Really nice shooting and editing, and a great choice of music to go with it...or perhaps the music inspired the visual story? Either way, really well done.  There were just a couple things that stuck out:

    First is the part from :07 to :10/11. It's really obvious that you flipped the footage because all the signs in the background are backwards. If they weren't lined up with her head as she walked, it might have gone unnoticed, or perhaps not noticed as easily, but it jumped out at me during the first viewing.

    The other part that stood out was the sound of the wrapping paper tearing at 1:08. Your use of sound to enhance the visuals worked well for everything else, but to me that one was just a bit on the loud side.

    My final comment is one of slight confusion re: the story. I figured that eventually we'd see what was in the box, and I'm guessing it's the bundle of lights she's held (it would've been a tad more clear if there was even a fragment of a shot with her pulling the lights from the box, instead of just going from starting to open the box to BOOM, there's a bundle of lights and no box). And I kinda got that these lights connected to the scenes of her and her mom hanging up lights, but if there's something deeper to that part of the narrative, it's not hitting me. The fade from all three to just her at the end makes me think that she's missing her family. Were the family scenes from one point in time, and her sitting on the couch alone from another? If so, perhaps a different visual treatment of the family flashback moments would have made that more clear. Make it black and white, or give it a dreamy soft treatment...something to tell us that those family bits are flashbacks to the past, and that the box moments are from the present. Right now it all feels like different parts of the present, but the fade at the end makes me question that assumption.

  • Hey everyone!

    So I've just been working on a short film with some friends, and it's for a math competition (you have to solve a problem somewhere in the video). I haven't submitted yet, and I was looking for some feedback-

    https://vimeo.com/317806460

    pwd "salk"

    Thank you so much!

  • edited February 18

    @Behind_The_Lens ; Somehow I totally missed your Italy/Switzerland video when you posted it back last year.  I liked it and thought you did am excellent job with it.  Loved the on-screen math visuals in the latest, and appreciated you attempting a more scripted narrative rather than beautiful scenery of a travelogue.  The tension and overall seriousness is hard to pull off using actors your age, but you did well with it.  Keep on creating...

  • Thank you very much!

    Made my day!

  • Great work! Fun story, excellent pacing of the edit, great music to accompany it. Some of the editing in the chase scene felt a little incongruous, but not horribly so. My biggest quibble is that the recovery of the wire cutters looked too easy. It reminded me of a baton handoff in a relay race.  ;) And when the girl took the cutters back from the bad guy, his face was a blank slate. No indication of how he felt. And then for some reason we never see that guy again, even though it feels like the girl doesn't get that far past him before dropping the bike to work on the bomb. I assumed he'd catch up to her, they'd have another fight over the cutters, etc., but he never appeared. It kinda feels like he was there just to stretch out the story a bit, but he didn't really add much substance to it.

    All that aside, this looks like a great entry for the competition. Good luck!

  • Thanks so much!

    Trying to make sure everything is realistic for character intent is something I need to work on- I briefly considered it, but I didn’t want a fight scene as it’s a middle school contest, and I didn’t want to get disqualified for non- PG ness. Regardless, I think there were a lot of ways I could’ve solved that without making it too violent, but my general consensus was basically “whatever”.

     

    anyway, thank you again for watching!!

  • @Behind_The_Lens ; Playing off CleverTagline's observation about the villain and your wanting to keep from having a knock down drag out.  If you had the chance to do a reshoot, what if when she takes back the cutters he starts to wobble and stumbles and falls as she speeds away on the bike. 

    Hoever, there is one line that sort of sticks out to me though.  The boy on the phone says the bomb will destroy everything in a 50 mile?? radius?  That would have to be a fairly large nuke.  I believe they figure about 2 miles per megaton of blast.  I think you'd need a bigger box :)  And why would the bad guy be within the blast radius?

  • Good idea! I actually submitted the video a few days ago, but maybe in the future I can reshoot to post on my YT channel. and yeah- I kinda threw in the 50m line without thinking.  Thank you!

Sign In or Register to comment.