I'm a student studying Animation and VFX

Would really appreciate any feedback anybody can give me on my Project this semester

I'm aware that there's a few things that still need tweaking but would just like to know people's overall thoughts and what they would improve/change. 

Constructive criticism is more than welcome :) 

Thanks in advance! 




  • Well that was quite something, looking nice. So to start at the end, loved the final title, worked so well with the premise of this film. In fact I think some of your middle let your work down a little. Ill try to explain the sequence that has WE FACE , the biggest challange, the fight of , our lives. This set of titles I think to should mirror the drama in the last title with the fog. Also the language you use WE and OUR are very inclusive, when most films say THEY and THEIR which put's the viewer back behind the 4th wall.

    I liked the opening scene, but was a bit confused by the lack of linkage between the girl and man in the shots and their locations.

    Keep up the good work.

  • edited March 2017

    Take this as an extreme reaction, but I stopped watching at the 17 second mark. When a female says "I'm scared" over a male face that seems like he's having trouble passing a stool, and after the slow titles and too much black: I bailed. But I'm very, very impatient. :)

  • @josh195 hehe I think what Palacono is trying to say is less is sometimes more, more speed less haste, oh heck you know. Basiclly film riot said it once, go back over your final edit and cut and cut again, then see what it looks like, remember the imagination can often fill in lots of blanks, if led there. Also horror trailers are either one slow long take with the classic jump fright at an appropraite point or fast rapid ones that makes you think what was that.

  • Triem23Triem23 Moderator

    Not liking the in your face nature of the text in the center. It's a very abrupt tonal shift that was jarring for me in a cheesy way. I don't know if you should keep the slow build going, move the text later and go for quicker cuts at the end? Or massage the center text a bit, maybe having "Fight" slam into "the biggest?" I don't know, that particular transition just didn't work for me. 

    "Requiem for a Dream" is very recognizable music. Potential distraction factor. 

    Otherwise it's a pretty solid fake trailer with well composed shots, a tight edit and some fun effects. 

    What tools did you use to put this together? 

  • @josh195 Overall, I thought it was interesting and I liked it, but there were a couple of clips that I felt the smoke wasn't as well blended as the end title sequence.  When the smoke swirls up out of the ground it just sort of appears to me as if it's kind of pasted on.  Maybe it's the grading or something that doesn't translate there for me.  Also, the clock tower suffers the same issue, I think.  I like the way it wraps around the clock tower, but it just doesn't seem real, and present to me.  Now, as I mentioned, the smoke at the end and forming the letters was really nice and maybe because there was no background footage behind it it looked real to me.  I did also like the fog enveloping the man standing on the street.  And I agree with Andy001z, 'Keep up the good work.'

  • I dig the low frame per second footage. It was almost like an animated comic, I think it would be neat to take it that styled route. Don't see it too much anymore other than the Warcaft Series.

    Don't worry about the story/lore so much in those videos. Just sharing them so you can use them as an artistic reference if you choose to go this route :)

  • @Josh195 can you please do a video tutorial how you did the smoke over text at the end of your video? :)

  • @Yeremyah I think this has already been done check out this you tube search results for hitfilm particle text.


  • Triem23Triem23 Moderator

    The smoke puffs are either a stock footage element or a particle sim using a stock element as a texture. 

    The text is just soft-edged wipes and could be done with animated masks or a set matte. 

  • edited March 2017

    Thanks @Andy001z

    Found a good vid tut that shows it, but sadly I cannot achieve this in Express, as I don't have "Atomic Particle" :(

  • No @Yeremyah your options are limited to seeing if you can find a pre-exsiting asset (particles exploding or moving in the way you want) that would might be able to blend into your text using masks with faded edges. It won't tie into each letter shape but will give the effect of the words exploding into particles. Sources are you tube and google I am affriad I don't have any to name off hand.

    edited March 2017

    The text really stands out and brings down the overall quality of your trailer. You should try softening the text a little bit, and perhaps bring down the white to something more towards grey, and perhaps add a slight emboss effect on to it. I would also decresae the text size by about 10-20%, so that's it's even less in your face. 

    High contrast image + dark room + high lumens = Perfect white is going to feel like looking into the sun

    It's very cool to see that you allow us to share our opinions, you're going to make it far in this industry with that attitude! =)

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