The Strider (5th May 2009 17:37)
Sollthar wrote:
This started quite interesting. I liked the way the camera dragged me into the scene and set the mood. I liked the calm sound and crisp voiceover. But after a good intro I must admit, I just really didn't get what was happening. It started so nice and then it went down the usual "random guy kills random people" road, which was really a shame.
I didn't get who he was, who she was, why he slapped her, why someone came and killed them in a quite badly composited explosion. Anything really.
I hope your next film will feature more of the calm and conscious intro and less of the other stuff. A nice proper short story would be neat. As in terms of tips for next time, apart from coming up with a better story, I'd say do more diversity in your camera angles. You never gave us a closeup, it was all total or long shot. Get more variation into everything. Show the closeup of peoples faces, objects etc too and don't let the camera be so distant.
Thanks so much for your criticism. These problems were just as annoying to me as they were to you, if not more so. It did seem to make sense on paper, but I soon realized halfway through shooting, "Hey... this doesn't really come across well. At all." By that point I decided to roll with it and see if I could salvage anything of worth. And of course, I didn't, really.
EDIT: I'd like to elaborate on my self-criticism a little bit. I took a bit too much of a chance on the assumption that "the audience isn't stupid." And it's true... they aren't. The problem is, since I didn't really explain what was going on, they were smarter than the film! My biggest self-criticism is that I didn't take the time to think out the finale well enough.
All that said, I still consider it a satisfactory experience. The reason being, I now know what works and what doesn't out of this material. My next work will utilize a greater variety in shots and a stronger story, but I'll probably use another flashback/voiceover structure since I like those elements, and I'd like to get them right one of these days. Maybe lightning will strike.
Sollthar (5th May 2009 16:37)
This started quite interesting. I liked the way the camera dragged me into the scene and set the mood. I liked the calm sound and crisp voiceover. But after a good intro I must admit, I just really didn't get what was happening. It started so nice and then it went down the usual "random guy kills random people" road, which was really a shame.
I didn't get who he was, who she was, why he slapped her, why someone came and killed them in a quite badly composited explosion. Anything really.
I hope your next film will feature more of the calm and conscious intro and less of the other stuff. A nice proper short story would be neat. As in terms of tips for next time, apart from coming up with a better story, I'd say do more diversity in your camera angles. You never gave us a closeup, it was all total or long shot. Get more variation into everything. Show the closeup of peoples faces, objects etc too and don't let the camera be so distant.
